World Domination

Quote: “Hold it still, it’s frothing at the lip.”

It’s a skill alright.  The Partner hasn’t mastered it, my mother certainly hasn’t mastered it, but, whether it is a natural skill or just years of practice, I seem to have it.  I can walk along the street and drink a coffee at the same time.  Yes, honestly, it’s true.  There are a few caveats to this: pushing a pram or similar and anything faster than a quick walk can result in messy issues.  Some drinks are easier than others.  I, as the more astute of you may have guessed, have a cappuccino.  Thicker than an americano its viscosity helps it stay in place.  But I have noticed that it has a hint of the rabies about it.

After purchasing two of the same my partner and I wandered down the street chatting about politics, economics and world domination whilst practicing our evil plan laughs: the usual.  I think that during one of our BRUHAHAHA’s or MWAHAHAA’s my Partner lost all control and I had to point and stare at his incapability of controlling his coffee.  It began to froth out through the lip and spurt onto his shirt.  Oh dear, I shook my head and looked at mine with smug pleasure at my clean cup and more importantly, pristine shirt.

I offer him some wisdom.  First hold the cup away from you a little.  Then you need to keep your arm still, as if it has suspension, like in the car, honey: the body moves around it whilst the arm stays in place.  You may look a little like you have had an accident and your arm is propped up in plaster, but it works.  And last of all practice, practice, practice.  How he doesn’t leave me and my pompous prattling’s there and then I don’t know.

He tries harder and there are no further incidences.  We leave off the evil plan laughs and decide we should try and concentrate on the smaller tasks at hand before we take over the world.


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